The Barren Void

The barrenness did not occur overnight; rather, it was the result of years of subtle ~ almost imperceptible ~ changes. Anomalies that slowly sucked the landscape ~ once teeming with life ~ into a cold, bitter, and empty space... a gaping void, unrealized in they eye of the beholder because of its gradual creation; the nothingness became complacent normalcy.

Unexpected sunshine broke through the never ending night; a spring breeze cutting through the stale air, leaving the void's occupant coughing and gasping at its sudden existence... the first real sunrise to caress the created abyss in decades. Certainly, there had been colors on the horizon in the past.... but until understanding occurred, the symphony of colors faded away into grey.

The barrenness will not dissipate overnight, but now that it lies exposed under the unforgiving light, subtle changes in the void will begin to occur over time... the emptiness of winter replaced first by spring, and eventually by the fullness of summer once again. When that day comes, the occupant will embrace life and the anomaly of the void will be forever lost... a stranger whose steps are mere footprints in the foundation of the present.

Regarding 2010

As 2010 draws to a close, I cannot resist the temptation to reflect upon the year... 

I hesitate to sound cliche', but reality is that life is full of ups and downs and my life is no exception. Some of the high points of this past year include:

• Jeremy & Gina being married in August (it's nice to finally have a sister!!)
• Watching my amazing children grow and learn (they're growing too fast!!)
• Frank receiving a promotion at his job
• Both of my brothers & Gina making it home for the holidays (first time in years!)
• Watching my Dad taking the time to put up the ''Griswald Family'' Christmas lights
• Reconnecting with people who were important in the past & who continue to be a blessing in my life
• Spending time with my Mom doing just about anything & everything
• Babies being born on Frank's side of the family
• Sharing humor with Anthony
• Learning that life lessons come from people and places that are least expected
• Most of my family making the 24 hour drive (both ways) to Flordia to enjoy the MSU bowl game!!

Some of the more regrettable moments include:

• My ''car lesson'' with my grandfather (indescribable!)
• Ending a three year drama ~ fest (I don't regret the lack of drama... I regret that I was unable to do more to evoke the change that I was desperately seeking for someone else)
• Loss
• Mistakes made..
• Watching the suffering of family members due to conditions that are beyond their control
• Unfortunate realizations

Historically, I've never been someone who creates resolutions as each new year approaches... My lack of participation in this traditional and widespread holiday activity is not because I lack ambition or aspirations, but rather because I'm more of a ''roll with the punches'' person. Perhaps this new year ~ 2011 ~ I should emerge from my cocoon of dormancy and make resolute declarations; a 'checks & balances' system of sorts for which I am accountable... I wonder if these goals will be met ~ or even matter ~ at this time next year?

A few goals that I have in mind:

• Living a healthier lifestyle
• Purchasing a laptop so that I can start writing the novel that I've been planning to write for the better part of 9 or so years...
• Making it to a church service more frequently
• Changing my outlook to one of gratitude versus entitlement
• Finding ways ~ regardless of how small ~ to impact and evoke change
• Trying harder to leave my safety net (baby steps)  :~)

Hats off to a new year with new possiblities and opportunities... I pray that it's a blessed year for everyone!!